Gumball!

Sunday was the start of the 2007 Gumball Rally, so we just had to go and check it out.

It started in Pall Mall, which had been closed for the event. There were over 100 supercars - Ferraris, Lamborghinis, Ford GTs, Zondas, and even a Bugatti Veyron and an F1 car. There were also lots of Range Rovers, Rolls Royces, Bentleys etc, plus a few odd-ball cars.

For those that don't know what the Gumball is, their official site is probably www.gumball3000.com The premise is that it covers about 3000 miles in 8 days by car (and also some by plane). This year they went from London to somewhere in Germany, then fly to Istanbul and drive back. Last year they went from London to somewhere, flew to Thailand for a few days, then to America.

It attracts lots of celebrity type people these days, and lots of attention from the police!

Pall Mall was packed. We wandered down looking at the cars, taking pictures. We then went to a pub (we went up with my brother and his girlfriend, and a few other friends) for a drink, then took a quick wander to Trafalgar Square to show Joe Nelson's Column. Then we went back to Pall Mall, had a wander up the other side of the row of cars, then headed into St James Street for the start. By this time it was really really packed, and we couldn't see much, so I resorted to holding the camera up in the air and aiming it at passing cars. This actually worked better than I thought it might (the joys of a Digital SLR camera! Manually focus, set the shutter speed to 1/400, bump up the ISO, put it in continuous shooting mode and fire away).

The F1 car went past about 5 feet from where I was standing, with the driver revving it to the limit. This was probably the loudest thing I've ever heard in my life. I was holding Joe and he just looked at me and said "More". Nothing scares him!

Great day out, we'll go again next year. I think I might buy a few hundred plastic steps to sell for a fiver apiece or something next year, I'm sure there's a good profit to be made. Some people were scaling buildings and lamp-posts and all sorts to get a view.

All in a days' work

Prince Harry should not go to Iraq.

Those who have lost partners and sons say that he should not receive special treatment. Obviously their loss is tragic, even more so given the nature of the whole war, but Prince Harry is special. He's third in-line to the throne. Should anything happen to William in the next few years, this man will be King, like it or not.

On top of that, his mere presence will attract attacks, putting his squadron in far greater danger than they would have been otherwise.

Even worse, imagine if he is captured? Given the complete incompetence regarding the sailors in Iran, what would happen? It's not like we could invade Iraq to get him back because we already have. There is no state to put pressure on. Terrorists do not co-operate like governments.

Sending him to Iraq creates more problems than leaving him here. That logic alone should be enough to answer the question.

The times they are appraisin'

I'm currently filling out my self-appraisal for work. In general, I think appraisals are a bit of a waste of time. Fine, if you're new then maybe you need one, but I've been here for 6 years, and as far as I'm aware my expertise nor my work ethic is in question. They probably should be, but that's a different matter. So why do I need an appraisal?

Anyway, I'm finding it hard to write down non-sarcastic answers to the stupid questions on the form:

Q. Set down a brief list of key tasks and responsibilities in your current job.
A. Surely the company knows what I do?! I have a job spec (of sorts). If you have no idea what I do then there are bigger problems afoot, frankly.

Q. What personal abilities and skills have particularly helped you in your role?
A. Abilities? Well, I'm good at setting my alarm clock so I get into work roughly on time, does that count? Skills? Well, funnily enough, that's the same programming skills that I've been using here for the past 6 years. Did you not notice?

Q. What obstacles have hindered the achievement of your objectives in your role?
A. Apart from the complete lack of customer requirements? The fact that you've demotivated everybody by making tons of people redundant, and also the fact that some of those people were directly involved in the project I'm on, meaning their work now won't be done, or will have to be done by me instead.

Q. What has given you least satisfaction in your work over the past year?
A. Nothing, apart from the constant demotivation, lack of salary increases that are at least in-line with inflation, lack of recognition for a job well done and the the fact that several of my friends have been kicked out.

Q. To improve your job performance, what additional action is required by:
1 - Your manager:
A. - A whopping big payrise and a written guarantee that I won't be made redundant for the next 5 years should do it. Oh, and an extra weeks' holiday and a brand new super-fast laptop.
2 - Yourself:
A. Are you saying that my performance is not good enough? I thought I was doing pretty well all things considered. I've survived about ten rounds of redundancies so surely I've proved my worth.

Q. What do you think should be your priorities and key objectives during the next year?
A. Surely this is your job? No? Ok, I think I should find a better paid, more secure job in a company that actually treats employees as human beings.

Q. What training and development do you consider would help you with:
1 - Your current job:
A. Well, none really. I've been doing it for several years so I think I've got a grip on it by now, thanks.
2 - Your career aspirations / future job expansion.
A. Within the realms of the company, whatever you think I should do as part of my objectives, obviously. But realistically I'll take any training you want to give because I can put it on my CV.

Q. Is there anything else you want to mention that would be beneficial to the job you do, or to the company?
A. How about give us decent payrises instead of such a pittance that it falls behind inflation and effectively gives us a paycut each year. Oh, and treat us like humans, not like robots or slaves.


Do you think I'll get a payrise this year?

There's something out there

One of the big news items today is the discovery of another planet that might have a similar temperature to that of Earth! It might have water and life!

Ignoring the fact that it's probably a bit tricky to actually measure the temperature of a planet 26 light-years away from here (my body temperature thermometer has to be held about an inch from your head. I realise NASA probably has some better kit but still...) and that the atmosphere of the planet is likely to be a huge influence, this is hardly news.

Let's look at a few figures... there are estimated to be about 10^22 stars in the universe. This is 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars (Interestingly, this is about 100 stars for each grain of sand in the world) This is worked out by working out how many stars there are in the Milky Way (about 400 billion), and then how many galaxies there are in the universe (a lot). The galaxies are kind of based on what Hubble could detect and extrapolated.

In reality, this is probably a low estimate.

So, let's say one only in a million stars has planets. That's 100,000,000,000,000,000 stars with planets. Let's say only one in a million of those has planets within the relevant "band" that will support life and water. That's 100,000,000,000 planets. A hundred billion planets that could support life and water. And remember, these are low estimates on the number of stars. That number could easily be double, treble, or a million times greater.

Doesn't make today's news so special now, does it?

The day of rest

How I like to spend my Sundays:

• Get woken up at about 09:30 by Joe, who by some miracle has realised the sanctity of Sundays and slept late.
• Have a nice breakfast and get ready for the day.
• Goto Tesco, which will be almost empty, and be delighted to discover the shopping only comes to £40.
• Come home, unpack the shopping and read the Sunday Times for a couple of hours.
• Go over to my Mum's for a home-cooked Sunday roast.
• Come home, bath Joe, put him to bed.
• Make a nice snack and watch 24 and Lost.

This is how I actually spent my Sunday:

• Get woken up at about 06:30 by Joe, who has no regard for the sancitiy of Sundays.
• Had a breakfast, but not a particularly nice one.
• Went to Tesco, which was completely packed, and discovered the shopping came to £60.
• Came home, unpacked the shopping.
• Pulled up the 2-foot high weeds and miscellaneous unidentifiable flora from the lawn.
• Mowed the lawn with the lawnmower on its highest setting.
• Mowed the lawn again with the lawnmower on its third lowest setting.
• Made some lunch, consisting of cheese and Ryvita.
• Went out looking for a mattress in the shop around the corner.
• Went out looking for a mattress in a bed shop because the shop around the corner was shut.
• Went out looking for a mattress in another shop, because the bed shop wouldn't deliver to the area we wanted them to.
• Went home without buying a mattress, because the third shop was shut.
• Vaccumed the downstairs of the house and the stairs (both flights).
• Miscellaneous tidying/cleaning.
• Various washing/drying/ironing of clothes.
• Bath Joe and put him to bed.
• Cook dinner.
• Watch 24 and Lost.

Still, it all needed to be done, and Joe had a great time helping out with the cleaning.

I would search 500 miles...

Next week I have a pay review, and am rather doubting that I'll get an increase at least inline with inflation (3%). The past 2 years I've had 1%, and before that nothing at all. What this means in real terms is that I've had a pay cut every year.

This is not a good situation. Couple this with the fact that we're being kicked out of our building by August, with no idea about where we are going, I've been casting my eye around a bit for jobs.

And what I've hit is the problem with job search engines. I specify I want a SQL Developer job at my postcode. Obviously there aren't any actually in my street, so the searches extend about five miles out. This is fine, but still a bit limiting. So I increase it to ten miles. Then the problem starts. Ten miles encompasses London, and I don't want to work in London, but there are lots of jobs in London. So I go from getting maybe ten results within 5 miles, to getting 300 results within 10 miles, of which I'm probably not interested in because of where they are.

What they need is a "10 miles in a southerly direction" search.

Maybe I should apply for a job at a job agency and develop one...

Winning ticket

All too often you read about somebody who has scooped millions on the lottery, and then says they won't change. They've had the same job for thirty years, putting biscuits into packets or something, and live in a small semi somewhere not exactly wonderful.

"Oh, it won't change me. I'll keep going to work, and I won't move. I'd miss me mates and me neighbours. I might buy a new car though. A nice Ford Focus or something, and we'll splash out on a holiday to Marbella."

This is not what the lottery is about! If you've no intention of changing, then don't buy a bloody ticket. Or give the winnings to me.

The whole point is it offers you a shot (admittedly an incredibly long one) at leaving all that behind. At buying a big house and a Ferrari and flying first class around the globe.

So it was very refreshing to read of a lady who won about £8m at the weekend. Once she'd recovered, she walked over to her job at a cinema, told her bosses to stick their job and walked out again to go shopping. She now has plans to buy a great big house and generally enjoy her winnings to the full. As well she should. The best bit though, was that she celebrated with a take-away pizza, which is exactly what I'd have done.

You go, girl!

Why?

So, this army-type who might end up being King in about thirty years time has split up from his girlfriend.

Why should this take up about a third of my newspaper?

Foolproof betting system

This weekend sees the running of the Grand National, probably the most bet upon horse race in the country.

For those seeking a win, follow my strategy. I have a perfect 100% record when betting on horses, which I have kept secret for a couple of years. I will share it with you now:

1 - Bet once on a horse that wins.
2 - Never bet on a horse again.

There you go! I bet once a horse at Epsom racetrack at a combined race meet/Status Quo gig a couple of years ago. I put £5 on a horse to win and won about £30. Since then I have never bet again. So I've got a 100% record, not many can say that. I did consider betting on the next race, but decided not to. A shame, as the horse I was going to choose did actually win. Never mind.

All in all, I'm quite lucky at gambling. This is probably because I don't do it much. I've played roulette a few times in my life, and each time have left the table with more than I started with. I've won more than anyone else I know on the lottery - enough that I am in profit on it (although I'll need to win a bit more in the next year or two to stay ahead because most of it was in one win).

And for all those reasons, I won't be betting this weekend. I don't want to spoil my run!

Life on Mars

No, not the fantastic TV show that finished on Tuesday, but rather the fact that there isn't any life on Mars the planet.

And if there isn't any life on Mars the planet, then how come it is also suffering from Global Warming(TM)?

Yes, that's correct. The temperature on Mars is also increasing. So, what we are left with now is two neighbouring planets, both warming up. One has people and jumbo jets, one doesn't. A rather simple exercise in deduction would show that the people are not the cause here, something else is.

And that something, unsuprisingly, is probably the Sun. No, not the newspaper, but the celestial body. It's amazing; somehow this unimaginably vast (it makes up 99% of all matter in the solar system) ball of exploding hydrogen in the sky with a core temperature of millions of Kelvins, manages to influence the temperature! Astonishing! How does it do it?!

The correlation between sunspots and temperatures on Earth (and Mars) is well known, but for some reason not widely publicised by tax-raising politicians.

I can't imagine why.

Easter eggs

I'm not sure what to make of this whole frozen eggs situation. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, a lady who was left infertile by cancer treatment wanted to use some pre-fertilised eggs that she had stored before her treatment for this very purpose. The problem is, she has split up from her then-fiance, who doesn't want her to use them.

Yesterday, she was denied the right to use them at European High Court, or some such place.

Now, the court did reach the correct decision, in that it followed the law. The law states that both parties must give consent for them to be used. This is fairly black-and-white. But the law is not always best applied as such.

I understand the lady wants a baby that is genetically hers. Of course she can adopt, but she wants one of her own flesh and blood. I understand that. It's what I'd want. This is her only chance of getting that.

The man says that he has the right to choose when he becomes a father. It may sound selfish that he can have kids later if he wants but his ex can't. But, he also has a point. If he does not want children, or does not want children by this woman, then he has the right to not be made a father by the courts. Yes, the child would not be raised by him, and I'm sure not even the CSA would chase him for maintenance payments (actually, you never know...), but he would still know that he has a child out there, even if it is legally adopted by her new partner. And of course that child may well want to find its father one day. That puts him in a very unfair situation. But, of course, he still has the choice of having children with his new partner should he so desire. His ex does not have that luxury.

I think this is one of those cases where there is no right or wrong decision. Both parties have equally valid points. I feel very sorry for the woman in this case. Being denied a child by the courts simply sounds wrong and I'm sure she is taking it very hard.

I suppose one underlying question is, is having a child a right or a privilege? I don't know the anwer to that one either. And it's one I'm glad I don't have to worry about myself.

We are sailing

Why all the fuss about the captured sailors selling their stories?

I'm sure they have just gone through a rather unpleasant experience, made even worse by the complete incomptence of our government in negotiating their release.

Why should they be denied the chance to make a bit of money from it? I understand some of them don't want to, and that's fine. But those that do want to should be able to do so.

Some people shout that it's all "part of the job" to be captured whilst on routine patrol, with UN backing, in waters they had every right to be in. I would argue that the Iranians had trespassed into waters they were not allowed to be in, therefore making their capture illegal and certainly not part of the job. It's like arguing that a policeman shot whilst taking details at a road accident, for example, should expect it. No, he shouldn't. But if he were patrolling the crack-dens of Manchester alone at night, then maybe. If they were on patrol in enemy waters, rather than in friendly waters - for that's what Iraq would be classified as - then it might be expected to be "part of the job". But they should have been safe.

And when they were captured, our government should have done a far better job of releasing them. Frankly, I hope they all sell their stories, make loads of money from it, and leave the service. Given that our leaders have shown complete contempt for them, I wouldn't blame them a bit.

As long as they don't violate the Official Secrets Act, then there is no problem. But to be banned from making any money - by the same lot of hopeless incompetents who failed to secure their release in the first place - really is wrong.

Easter

Apparantly, most of the nation's children do not know the true meaning of Easter.

Yeah, right. We all know it's the day that Jesus was rescued by the Easter Bunny, and they all celebrated by eating Cadburys chocolate eggs! They just don't think it's cool to say that they know.

What next? Saying that they don't know that Christmas is Santa's birthday?

Anyway, the main point is that we get four days off work.

See y'all next week!

Roundabouts

Today I want to talk about roundabouts. For those Stateside, these are big circular things in the middle of the road that traffic must drive around in order to continue along the same road, or in order to turn onto another road. Yes, they sound a bit silly, but they avoid the need for traffic lights, meaning that the traffic can keep flowing. Except for those roundabouts which have traffic lights as well, of course. No, I can't see the point of that either. There's one roundabout (a real biggie with 5 or 6 exits) on a route to an old job of mine where there were never any queues. Then they put traffic lights on it, resulting in huge queues. Very sensible.

Anyway, roundabouts. Or "islands" if you are of a northern persuasion. Different to the "islands" that we would refer to in the south, which are where you stand in the middle of the road whilst waiting to cross. Ele calls roundabouts "traffic circles", but that's because she is from a strange country. Hopefully that's the roundabout lexicon explained.

Where was I? Oh yes. On my way to work these days, I come up to a mini-roundabout and turn right. A mini-roundabout, for those Stateside, is - unsuprisingly - a small roundabout. Usually, these are just painted on the road and not an actual physical thing. There was nothing wrong with this roundabout, but the council decided to replace it. But rather than just repaint it, they have built up the entire junction with bricks, and then painted the new one on that. So now you drive up a little slope onto the brick part, go round the roundabout, and then down another little slope.

How pointless is that? It must have cost them thousands, and it actually makes for a worse junction, because bricks are slippery as hell when wet, and there are islands (of the road-crossing variety) filled with schoolkids in the mornings. So now should it be raining, and should one cross the road as I'm turning right, I'm more likely to skid and hit them. So that's clever.

And I'm sure it had nothing at all to do with a budget and stock surplus, and the fact that it was finished a few days before the financial year end. Oh no.


PS - Funny newspaper story. A bus driver refused to move the bus until a man who claimed to be disabled showed him his free-travel-because-he's-disabled pass. The man pointed out, fairly reasonably, that he was in a wheelchair and had no legs and was it really necessary for him to delve through his bags to find it? The bus driver insisted it was, as otherwise he had no proof.

Sometimes you just don't know what to say.