The times they are appraisin'
I'm currently filling out my self-appraisal for work. In general, I think appraisals are a bit of a waste of time. Fine, if you're new then maybe you need one, but I've been here for 6 years, and as far as I'm aware my expertise nor my work ethic is in question. They probably should be, but that's a different matter. So why do I need an appraisal?
Anyway, I'm finding it hard to write down non-sarcastic answers to the stupid questions on the form:
Q. Set down a brief list of key tasks and responsibilities in your current job.
A. Surely the company knows what I do?! I have a job spec (of sorts). If you have no idea what I do then there are bigger problems afoot, frankly.
Q. What personal abilities and skills have particularly helped you in your role?
A. Abilities? Well, I'm good at setting my alarm clock so I get into work roughly on time, does that count? Skills? Well, funnily enough, that's the same programming skills that I've been using here for the past 6 years. Did you not notice?
Q. What obstacles have hindered the achievement of your objectives in your role?
A. Apart from the complete lack of customer requirements? The fact that you've demotivated everybody by making tons of people redundant, and also the fact that some of those people were directly involved in the project I'm on, meaning their work now won't be done, or will have to be done by me instead.
Q. What has given you least satisfaction in your work over the past year?
A. Nothing, apart from the constant demotivation, lack of salary increases that are at least in-line with inflation, lack of recognition for a job well done and the the fact that several of my friends have been kicked out.
Q. To improve your job performance, what additional action is required by:
1 - Your manager:
A. - A whopping big payrise and a written guarantee that I won't be made redundant for the next 5 years should do it. Oh, and an extra weeks' holiday and a brand new super-fast laptop.
2 - Yourself:
A. Are you saying that my performance is not good enough? I thought I was doing pretty well all things considered. I've survived about ten rounds of redundancies so surely I've proved my worth.
Q. What do you think should be your priorities and key objectives during the next year?
A. Surely this is your job? No? Ok, I think I should find a better paid, more secure job in a company that actually treats employees as human beings.
Q. What training and development do you consider would help you with:
1 - Your current job:
A. Well, none really. I've been doing it for several years so I think I've got a grip on it by now, thanks.
2 - Your career aspirations / future job expansion.
A. Within the realms of the company, whatever you think I should do as part of my objectives, obviously. But realistically I'll take any training you want to give because I can put it on my CV.
Q. Is there anything else you want to mention that would be beneficial to the job you do, or to the company?
A. How about give us decent payrises instead of such a pittance that it falls behind inflation and effectively gives us a paycut each year. Oh, and treat us like humans, not like robots or slaves.
Do you think I'll get a payrise this year?
Anyway, I'm finding it hard to write down non-sarcastic answers to the stupid questions on the form:
Q. Set down a brief list of key tasks and responsibilities in your current job.
A. Surely the company knows what I do?! I have a job spec (of sorts). If you have no idea what I do then there are bigger problems afoot, frankly.
Q. What personal abilities and skills have particularly helped you in your role?
A. Abilities? Well, I'm good at setting my alarm clock so I get into work roughly on time, does that count? Skills? Well, funnily enough, that's the same programming skills that I've been using here for the past 6 years. Did you not notice?
Q. What obstacles have hindered the achievement of your objectives in your role?
A. Apart from the complete lack of customer requirements? The fact that you've demotivated everybody by making tons of people redundant, and also the fact that some of those people were directly involved in the project I'm on, meaning their work now won't be done, or will have to be done by me instead.
Q. What has given you least satisfaction in your work over the past year?
A. Nothing, apart from the constant demotivation, lack of salary increases that are at least in-line with inflation, lack of recognition for a job well done and the the fact that several of my friends have been kicked out.
Q. To improve your job performance, what additional action is required by:
1 - Your manager:
A. - A whopping big payrise and a written guarantee that I won't be made redundant for the next 5 years should do it. Oh, and an extra weeks' holiday and a brand new super-fast laptop.
2 - Yourself:
A. Are you saying that my performance is not good enough? I thought I was doing pretty well all things considered. I've survived about ten rounds of redundancies so surely I've proved my worth.
Q. What do you think should be your priorities and key objectives during the next year?
A. Surely this is your job? No? Ok, I think I should find a better paid, more secure job in a company that actually treats employees as human beings.
Q. What training and development do you consider would help you with:
1 - Your current job:
A. Well, none really. I've been doing it for several years so I think I've got a grip on it by now, thanks.
2 - Your career aspirations / future job expansion.
A. Within the realms of the company, whatever you think I should do as part of my objectives, obviously. But realistically I'll take any training you want to give because I can put it on my CV.
Q. Is there anything else you want to mention that would be beneficial to the job you do, or to the company?
A. How about give us decent payrises instead of such a pittance that it falls behind inflation and effectively gives us a paycut each year. Oh, and treat us like humans, not like robots or slaves.
Do you think I'll get a payrise this year?
posted by Nej at
1:24 pm
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