"Hello, Noah? I'd like to order an Ark please."
That was interesting rain, wasn't it?
My garage roof has more holes than O.J. Simpson's defense, but it's never been a foot deep in water before. If I'd been quicker off the mark I could have stuck the house on the market advertised with an indoor swimming pool.
Still, there's nothing of value in the garage (quite the opposite, really), apart from a lawnmower and some bikes. What would have been better is if the whole thing collapsed, then I could've claimed on the insurance for a nice shiny new one that isn't infested with spiders that are probably unknown to science and exist solely in my garage. Maybe I should invite David Attenborough in; he might name them after me.
Apart from that we were fairly lucky. Our bedroom ceiling and a wall (hidden behind a mirror, fortunately) are a bit stained where water leaked through the chimney breast, but not as bad as some. The photo's in the paper were the funniest. Near my parents' house a few miles away there is a railway bridge that cars pass under. It always floods. So in this rain it was certainly going to flood. But that didn't stop people from trying to drive through it. And when I mean floods, I mean to about 6 or 7 feet in depth. Idiots.
But the best news of all is that we can't drink our water. The same useless water company that last year wouldn't let us use any because they didn't have enough (yet still expected payment as if they did have enough), have this year managed to contaminate the supply with all this rainwater (and, I'm sure, will still expect payment in full). I was lucky to find out, as I saw a brief mention of it on the Sky News website. So now we have to boil our water before drinking it. Plainly this is stupid, as it takes ages to cool down again, so I went to buy some from Tesco's. Small snag was about 10,000 people had the same idea. Old Mother Hubbard had more on her shelves. I saw a cage with some cases of small (750ml) bottles in it, so I had grabbed about 15 bottles of those, when a Tesco man came down the aisle with a pallet stacked full of 6x2l bottles, which he proclaimed to be the last in the store. A minor frenzy ensued as people grabbed then. I managed to get 2 packs of 6, and by the time I'd put them in the trolley and turned around to see if I could get any more, they were all gone. This was a pallet stacked about 5 feet high, by the way. Hopefully it'll last us through the crisis. I suspect that if I drive a few miles out I can get more anyway.
Apparently the water company were driving around in vans with loudhailers, and distributing leaflets warning customers to boil water, but I didn't see, hear, or receive any of these. So it's a good thing I was lucky enough to see it on the website, or else I imagine I'd either be dead or dying a slow, painful death.
Wonderful.
My garage roof has more holes than O.J. Simpson's defense, but it's never been a foot deep in water before. If I'd been quicker off the mark I could have stuck the house on the market advertised with an indoor swimming pool.
Still, there's nothing of value in the garage (quite the opposite, really), apart from a lawnmower and some bikes. What would have been better is if the whole thing collapsed, then I could've claimed on the insurance for a nice shiny new one that isn't infested with spiders that are probably unknown to science and exist solely in my garage. Maybe I should invite David Attenborough in; he might name them after me.
Apart from that we were fairly lucky. Our bedroom ceiling and a wall (hidden behind a mirror, fortunately) are a bit stained where water leaked through the chimney breast, but not as bad as some. The photo's in the paper were the funniest. Near my parents' house a few miles away there is a railway bridge that cars pass under. It always floods. So in this rain it was certainly going to flood. But that didn't stop people from trying to drive through it. And when I mean floods, I mean to about 6 or 7 feet in depth. Idiots.
But the best news of all is that we can't drink our water. The same useless water company that last year wouldn't let us use any because they didn't have enough (yet still expected payment as if they did have enough), have this year managed to contaminate the supply with all this rainwater (and, I'm sure, will still expect payment in full). I was lucky to find out, as I saw a brief mention of it on the Sky News website. So now we have to boil our water before drinking it. Plainly this is stupid, as it takes ages to cool down again, so I went to buy some from Tesco's. Small snag was about 10,000 people had the same idea. Old Mother Hubbard had more on her shelves. I saw a cage with some cases of small (750ml) bottles in it, so I had grabbed about 15 bottles of those, when a Tesco man came down the aisle with a pallet stacked full of 6x2l bottles, which he proclaimed to be the last in the store. A minor frenzy ensued as people grabbed then. I managed to get 2 packs of 6, and by the time I'd put them in the trolley and turned around to see if I could get any more, they were all gone. This was a pallet stacked about 5 feet high, by the way. Hopefully it'll last us through the crisis. I suspect that if I drive a few miles out I can get more anyway.
Apparently the water company were driving around in vans with loudhailers, and distributing leaflets warning customers to boil water, but I didn't see, hear, or receive any of these. So it's a good thing I was lucky enough to see it on the website, or else I imagine I'd either be dead or dying a slow, painful death.
Wonderful.
posted by Nej at
1:06 pm
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