Going Postal - Part 2
Following on from yesterday's postal blog, I thought I'd relate another delivery-related nightmare, this time concerning Tchibo and DHL. See what happens if you piss me off? You get named and shamed in the worlds greatest blog. There will now be literally three people who know how bad you are. Corporations of the world, you have been warned.
Several months ago we ordered four stairgates from Tchibo online (Tchibo is a high-street and on-line retailer, notable for selling coffee as well as normal goods, and also for changing their entire stock each week, meaning that every time you go in there, there are different things for sale. QUite a good concept and they often have quite reasonable prices. They also have the hardest-to-pronounce name of all shops in the world, ever).
Anyway, we got these stairgates (three for us, one for Saffron, Eleanor's sister) and soon realised they were not so good after all, as they only opened in one direction. This is tricky to explain, but imagine that if you are standing in front of the gate, then it will only open towards you and to your right. To make it open the other way you turn the whole gate around, and then it would open away from you and to your left. This is no good if you want it to open towards you and to the left, which is what we wanted on our stairs. Opening to the right was not at all practical. And of course, it didn't mention this on the website. Every other stairgate in the world will open both ways, but not this one.
Confused? Good. So we decided to keep one of the four to put in our kitchen archway, and send back the other two (remember that Saffron had one; keep up). Even the kitchen archway one would have been better the other way round, but it'd do. So we call Tchibo and arrange for a pickup. This was not deemed to be a problem, and on the appointed day, Ele waited in. And waited. And waited. And they didn't come.
So we call them back and they arrange another pickup. This time, Chris, Ele's mum, waited in as Ele was at work. And waited. And waited. And waited. And they didn't come.
A third, fourth and fifth pickup were arranged, with a variety of different courier firms. And Ele waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited.
And they didn't come.
Finally they arranged for DHL to come. On the appointed day (a Tuesday) they came to the door, dropped a "Sorry we missed you. We crept up the driveway as stealthily as possible, knocked on your door with a feather, waited 0.2 seconds and then assumed you weren't in so we left and we'll come back tommorow" card. They didn't come on Wednesday, but did come on Thursday and finally picked the stupid things up.
Hooray! And so ends the tale. Except that it doesn't. A few weeks went by and a credit card statement dropped through the door (Sarah - funny how bills and junk mail never get lost, isn't it!). Inside, the bill was £39.98 higher than it should have been, because I had not been refunded. Hereafter, the Saga Of The Pickup changed to the Saga Of The Refund.
A call to Tchibo established that they hadn't received the stairgates. Or had received them but had mislaid them. Either way, this was why they hadn't refunded me. No problem, say they, we'll send you a form, fill it out and send it back to us and we'll process your refund forthwith. The form arrives, I duly fill it out and send it back. Again, I don't hear anything for a couple of weeks. Another phone call reveals that they haven't done anything because there is no proof of delivery. I also mention that the form was more a "goods not received" form rather than a "goods received and then sent back and not received by Tchibo" form. So they send me a different form and tell me to include the proof of posting. This I do, and here I made a fatal mistake in not sending a photocopy of the DHL receipt, but the original.
Again, weeks pass, ice ages come and go, civilisations rise and fall, and my credit card remains un-refunded.
Another call reveals they have not received this latest form. So now I have no proof of pickup because I sent it to them, and they don't believe I sent them the stairgates because I haven't got proof of pickup. Their solution is to send me another form (there must be departments in these companies whose only task is to design forms for each possible scenario: Ah, you'll need to fill in the "Postman broke his leg whilst delivering a package to 22 Acacia Avenue on a slightly snowy day in February, causing him to drop your package in the fall" form, Sir).
So, another form is filled in, and returned. A couple of weeks later, I call them again. The conversation went something like this:
Me: I still haven't got my money, but I sent you the form.
Tchibo: Ah, that's because you haven't sent us proof of collection.
Me: We've been here before. I did send it to you, but it either didn't arrive or you lost it.
Tchibo: Well, we couldn't possibly have lost it, so it must have been lost in the post.
Me: whatever. I don't have it, you don't have it, and I don't have my money. Give it to me now.
Tchibo: Well, without proof of collection we can't do that.
Me: Give me a refund or I'll murder your dog and spray obscene messages onto the side of your car.
Tchibo: Ok, let me speak to my manager. Please hold.
Me: Dum-dum-de-dee-dum-de-dee-dee-dum-de-do.
Tchibo: Right, we can do the refund, but for reasons that are far to complicated to explain to customers, we will have to refund the cost of one stairgate today, and the other in two days' time.
Me: Ok.
And they did! Except that they didn't. They did the first refund, but not the second. And so today I called them again and after explaining everything for the 723rd time, they've arranged the other refund. I'm quietly hopeful it will arrive. FYI I orderd the stairgates in May. Today is the 21st of November.
After saying yesterday that shopping on the internet is great, I should perhaps amend that to say it's great as long as you don't have to send anything back.
If I'd bought the stupid things from the shops none of this would have happened.
Several months ago we ordered four stairgates from Tchibo online (Tchibo is a high-street and on-line retailer, notable for selling coffee as well as normal goods, and also for changing their entire stock each week, meaning that every time you go in there, there are different things for sale. QUite a good concept and they often have quite reasonable prices. They also have the hardest-to-pronounce name of all shops in the world, ever).
Anyway, we got these stairgates (three for us, one for Saffron, Eleanor's sister) and soon realised they were not so good after all, as they only opened in one direction. This is tricky to explain, but imagine that if you are standing in front of the gate, then it will only open towards you and to your right. To make it open the other way you turn the whole gate around, and then it would open away from you and to your left. This is no good if you want it to open towards you and to the left, which is what we wanted on our stairs. Opening to the right was not at all practical. And of course, it didn't mention this on the website. Every other stairgate in the world will open both ways, but not this one.
Confused? Good. So we decided to keep one of the four to put in our kitchen archway, and send back the other two (remember that Saffron had one; keep up). Even the kitchen archway one would have been better the other way round, but it'd do. So we call Tchibo and arrange for a pickup. This was not deemed to be a problem, and on the appointed day, Ele waited in. And waited. And waited. And they didn't come.
So we call them back and they arrange another pickup. This time, Chris, Ele's mum, waited in as Ele was at work. And waited. And waited. And waited. And they didn't come.
A third, fourth and fifth pickup were arranged, with a variety of different courier firms. And Ele waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited.
And they didn't come.
Finally they arranged for DHL to come. On the appointed day (a Tuesday) they came to the door, dropped a "Sorry we missed you. We crept up the driveway as stealthily as possible, knocked on your door with a feather, waited 0.2 seconds and then assumed you weren't in so we left and we'll come back tommorow" card. They didn't come on Wednesday, but did come on Thursday and finally picked the stupid things up.
Hooray! And so ends the tale. Except that it doesn't. A few weeks went by and a credit card statement dropped through the door (Sarah - funny how bills and junk mail never get lost, isn't it!). Inside, the bill was £39.98 higher than it should have been, because I had not been refunded. Hereafter, the Saga Of The Pickup changed to the Saga Of The Refund.
A call to Tchibo established that they hadn't received the stairgates. Or had received them but had mislaid them. Either way, this was why they hadn't refunded me. No problem, say they, we'll send you a form, fill it out and send it back to us and we'll process your refund forthwith. The form arrives, I duly fill it out and send it back. Again, I don't hear anything for a couple of weeks. Another phone call reveals that they haven't done anything because there is no proof of delivery. I also mention that the form was more a "goods not received" form rather than a "goods received and then sent back and not received by Tchibo" form. So they send me a different form and tell me to include the proof of posting. This I do, and here I made a fatal mistake in not sending a photocopy of the DHL receipt, but the original.
Again, weeks pass, ice ages come and go, civilisations rise and fall, and my credit card remains un-refunded.
Another call reveals they have not received this latest form. So now I have no proof of pickup because I sent it to them, and they don't believe I sent them the stairgates because I haven't got proof of pickup. Their solution is to send me another form (there must be departments in these companies whose only task is to design forms for each possible scenario: Ah, you'll need to fill in the "Postman broke his leg whilst delivering a package to 22 Acacia Avenue on a slightly snowy day in February, causing him to drop your package in the fall" form, Sir).
So, another form is filled in, and returned. A couple of weeks later, I call them again. The conversation went something like this:
Me: I still haven't got my money, but I sent you the form.
Tchibo: Ah, that's because you haven't sent us proof of collection.
Me: We've been here before. I did send it to you, but it either didn't arrive or you lost it.
Tchibo: Well, we couldn't possibly have lost it, so it must have been lost in the post.
Me: whatever. I don't have it, you don't have it, and I don't have my money. Give it to me now.
Tchibo: Well, without proof of collection we can't do that.
Me: Give me a refund or I'll murder your dog and spray obscene messages onto the side of your car.
Tchibo: Ok, let me speak to my manager. Please hold.
Me: Dum-dum-de-dee-dum-de-dee-dee-dum-de-do.
Tchibo: Right, we can do the refund, but for reasons that are far to complicated to explain to customers, we will have to refund the cost of one stairgate today, and the other in two days' time.
Me: Ok.
And they did! Except that they didn't. They did the first refund, but not the second. And so today I called them again and after explaining everything for the 723rd time, they've arranged the other refund. I'm quietly hopeful it will arrive. FYI I orderd the stairgates in May. Today is the 21st of November.
After saying yesterday that shopping on the internet is great, I should perhaps amend that to say it's great as long as you don't have to send anything back.
If I'd bought the stupid things from the shops none of this would have happened.
posted by Nej at
1:47 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home