Braveheart would cry in shame

Since man first gained a higher level of consciousness than his ape cousins, he has stood in fields of green, gazed up at the stars and pondered the unanswerable questions. What is the meaning of life? How did we get here? Is there a God? To which, of course, the answers are 42, Evolution, No. Man was much more stupid back then.

But now there is another unanswerable question. One that academics, scientists, and drunks will be discussing for years to come: How the hell are the McDonald Brothers still in the X-Factor?

For those of you who don't watch the X-Factor, you may wish to stop reading now because the rest of this blog will mean nothing to you.

Still here? Ok, then. Just in case you don't watch the X-Factor but decided to carry on reading then I shall briefly explain. The X-Factor is a "talent" show, where the definition of "talent" is held in very loose regard. Basically, a group of singers and, er, groups, all try and win a recording contract under the watchful eyes of Louis "I discovered Westlife" Walsh, Sharon "I'm married to Ozzy Osborne and therefore famous" Osborne, and Simon "I've got more money than anyone so I don't care what you think" Cowell.

The McDonald Brothers are, frankly, the worst contestants there have ever been on any show, ever, in the history of the universe. They stand there, immobile, one usually playing a guitar very badly, and sing with quite useless voices. This week the guitar-playing one attempted a guitar solo. It was rubbish. Simon Cowell commented on it saying the same thing. Louis Walsh (their "mentor") shot back asking what did he know about guitars? Simon knew nothing. I at least know a fair bit, having played one for ten years or so. I know I'm not that good. I always stuck to rhythm when I played in a band because I know I suck at solos. Therefore I would not try and do one on live national TV in front of millions of people. Not so Ronald McDonald (as I presume his full name is). To paraphrase (or maybe even quote, I don't know) Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons: Worst. Solo. Ever.

The only thing I can think of that is keeping them in is that they are Scottish and therefore all the Scots are voting for them out of national pride. But why? If it's national pride you are concerned with, then getting this embarrassing representation of your country off of the screens would be the best thing to do. People will start to associate the McDonald Brothers (surely named because that is where they'll be working once they finally get booted off) with Scotland and therefore think Scotland is rubbish as well. Of course this is far from the truth. Edinburgh is one of my favourite cities.

Scotland invented the television, now they are responsible for the worst thing on it. Some kind of irony there, I think.

PS - Ben to win. He is the only one who is actually very good indeed.